Puzzles.

Tonight, I am annoyed.
Unreasonably so.
Because I cannot, for the life of me, pin down the initial causation factor.

I'm annoyed at him. For his exhaustion. For not staying up and talking to me. For an uninteresting conversation. For having an exciting life without me. For his hasty attachment. For being more experienced than I. For causing me so much emotion ALL THE TIME!

I'm annoyed at her. For being able to make something out of nothing. For her motivation. For her seeming perfection. For knowing what she wants. For her passion. For locking me in a house for two days. For running 3 miles every morning. For being annoyed.

I'm annoyed at them. For having to plan. For leaving me to veg. For being available. For having to pretend I've made any kind of progress. For having other obligations. For hesitating before accepting. For making me contact first.

I'm annoyed at me. For wasting hour after hour, day after day. For not getting any closer. For sleeping. So. Fucking. Much. For spending. For not being what everyone thinks I am. For mistakes. For the inability to bounce back. For the desire not to.

I'm annoyed at it.

He should never have been interested.
She should never have had so much faith.
They should never have been so enthused.
I should never have bombed.
It should never have happened.

Puzzled.