Stumbling through the ups and downs of everyday existence;
you're out of shape and biking slick rock trail,
it's awkward and uncomfortable.
The inclines are exhausting, the declines are unnerving
and the flats exist solely to prolong impending doom.
All the while you're hot and sweaty, your muscles - screaming and in a consistent state of near depletion but you're miles away from nearing any possible conclusion.
Pain is a constant companion. You and he go way back.
You feel his presence in everything you do.
The sun is pain, the rock is pain, the handlebars have been delivering his relentless caress for hours.
Every year you make the trip and every year you end up reliving the exact same horror.
When you wake up in the morning, you don't know where you're headed.
How could you know you'd be writhing under the blistering heat just hours later?
While recently forced to evaluate my inner mechanics, I did not like what I saw. I've been running on dirty oil for a long time now. I thought I had a good idea of the person I wanted to be. I thought I had a good, tight grip on the motivation behind my actions and a clear view of the person I have become. But what I thought was polished glass turned out to be, upon closer examination, steel - rusty and misshapen. I need to reestablish priorities. I am living the life of a person I do not want to become.
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