Dear Liz

I've been having nightmares about you. Horrific images accompanying shuddering feelings blanket my vision like clockwork, every few hours, making it impossible for sleep to find me. I think I want to know how you did it. It's morbid, and I'm not ready for it yet, but I want to know. I don't know if I ever will. I don't know if I will ever get to read the words you scribbled down and threw away. Your last declaration to the world, but I do. I want the closure.

I decided to read your letters tonight. I might as well make use of the new time I have during dark hours of the night. I went to open up your safe. I got the key and made it to my bedside, but could not go any further. I sat and cried for hours. I don't know why I couldn't do it, but my shaking hand was paralyzed in place. I was suddenly so afraid of losing what I have left of you. I clutched the nearest paper I could find and started to madly scribble down all the things I remember. I filled up the front and the back. I went through our last texting chain. I had already forgotten so much. How were you already leaving so quickly?? Please stop. You've taken so much already, at least leave me my memories.

Or better yet, just come home.

Kenz